6 NEW BANDS: THE SLUDGELORD's "666 PACK REVIEW" (November 2018)

By: Nikos Mixas

It’s the November installment of THE SLUDGELORD’s “666 PACK REVIEW”!  Can you believe that we’re almost finished with this fucking year already???  There are been some winners (but unequivocally more losers…) that have scored a 666 rating just about every month during 2018.  November bands, don’t fail us now!  If you’re new to this, each and every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!  Check out our cold and dreary rating scale below: 

1– With the lack of daylight hours and listening to your submission, we’re totally feeling this rating of miserable.

2– We liken your band to when you wake up to shit ton of snow outside.  It blows.   

3– Some holiday music can elicit feelings of meh, just like listening to this.

4– We’re likening this submission to hope.  For example, spring is only 5 months away kind of hopeful.

5– This is real good.  And we mean real good like going on a vacation to some warm weather island for the holidays kind of good.

666! – THE SLUDGELORD’s highest rating is bestowed up you along with an imaginary bottle of whiskey and cauldron full of whatever makes you happy! 

The 666 PACK REVIEWis meant to offer humorous criticism and is not meant to hurt feelings, however, there are no safe spaces here.  THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

1). Red Usurper, “The Sphere of Time” (Saint John, Canada)     Rating: 3

Digging the tunes, vocals need work.

 
2). Leroy, “Leroy” (Dublin, Ireland)     Rating: 1

First prize for WORST VOCALS EVER.

3). Gaping Maw, “The Big Fuck-Over” (Cincinnati, USA)   Rating: 5

Noisy, angry and cool bass lines. 

 
4). CTRL+All+Delete, “CTRL+All+Delete” (Sacramento, USA)   Rating: 5

Do NOT CTRL+Alt+Delete this fine sludge!

5). Raskolnik, “Dissenter” (Norrköping, Sweden)    Rating: 2

Guitars lessons AND vocal lessons needed.

6). Vandampire, “You will be the bones” (London, United Kingdom)   Rating: 666!

This is THE SLUDGELORD, you lost?

Band info: Red Usurper || Gaping Maw || Ctrl+All+Delete|| Raskolnik || Vandampire

6 NEW BANDS: THE SLUDGELORD's "666 PACK REVIEW" (October 2018)

By: Nikos Mixas

 

It’s the October edition of THE SLUDGELORD’s “666 PACK REVIEW”!  There were a lot of great albums that came out this month by such SLUDGERLORD favorites as High on Fire, Windhandand Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats.  If those bands currently have your turntable preoccupied and you need a break for some great DIY auditions for THE SLUDGELORD, you’re in the right place!  If you’re new to this, each and every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!  Check out our negative Nancyrating scale below: 

1 – We include your band and in this popular monthly column and this is all you got???  Try again.

2– This isn’t the worst thing we’ve heard this month…it’s the 2^ndworse.      

3– I like your band right now, but I’ll forget about you guys by tomorrow. 

4 – I would rate the new High on Fire a four, so the fact that you’re here isn’t too shabby.       

5– And this would be my rating for the new Uncle Acid and Windhand albums.  Rejoice with your bandmates tonight and drink some gruel!  

666– THE SLUDGELORD joins forces with The Great Pumpkin and agrees that this band deserves a 666rating!!! 

Caveat:  Even though the “666 PACK REVIEW” is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher.  THE SLUDGELORDis a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

1). U-FOES“WHITEOUT”(Oslo, Norway)   Rating: 4

Icy and harsh, just like Norway.

2). LMDA “Darkest Days And Rituals” (Strasbourg, France)   Rating: 666!

Powerviolence, soundtrack to destroy things to.

3). MaxXout“The Big Push” (Pittsburgh, U.S.A.)   Rating: 2

If 80’s hard rock met Clutch.

4). Neon Burton “Neontology” (Cologne, Germany)   Rating: 3

See above but with Fu Manchu.

5). Electric Funeral “Death, Cult and Serpent” (Kuala Lumpur, Malayia)   Rating: 2

Mix is awful, vocalist is dying.

6). The Bateleurs“Immanent Fire” (Lisbon, Portugal)   Rating: 5

The Black Crowes with Frank Zappa??? 

Band info: U-FOES || LMDA|| MaxXout || Neon Burton || Electric Funeral || The Bateleurs

6 NEW BANDS: THE SLUDGELORD "666 PACK REVIEW" (September 2018)

By: Nikos Mixas

Art by: Joshua M. Wilkinson

It’s the September edition of THE SLUDGELORD “666 PACK REVIEW”!  This is the time of year that some of you are rearranging your band shirt collection by swapping out sleeveless shirts with hoodies and raglans.  In addition, tours are cropping up all over the place and if you’re in a band and strive to score gigs, record albums, and hopefully tour one day, THE SLUDGELORDcan help you hone those chops by reviewing your demo!  If you’re new to this, each and every month we handpick 6review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1to 666!  Check out our fall flavored rating scale below: 

1– I bet your band got lost in a corn maze and couldn’t figure how to get out?

2– Gourds might be cool to look at, but that’s about it.  Your band is a gourd.      

3– This is average, just like anything from Soufly these days.      

4 – I liken this to the excitement you get knowing that October, even more so, Halloween is right around the corner!      

5– You know how pumpkin spice lattes are lame?  Well, pumpkin spice beers kick ass and so does your band. 

666– THE SLUDGELORD awards you with the highest compliment it can give…. a 666rating!!! 

Caveat:  Even though the 666 PACK REVIEW is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher.  THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

1). Ritual Earth, “Demo” (Philadelphia, U.S.A.)    Rating: 666!

“Shoe in for Psycho Las Vegas.”

2). Hellavator, “Ruin” (Norway)   Rating: 4

“There’s a Candlemass element to it.”

3). Blank, “S/T” (Köln, Germany)   Rating: 4

“If Celeste played hardcore…in Germany.”

4). Vile Entity, “Vile Entity” (Tuscany, Italy)   Rating: 2

“There’s only one Bell Witch, OK???”

5). Udreka, “Gniew, trud i nocna zmora” (Gdynia, Poland)   Rating: 5

“Great stuff, but it needs vocals.”  

6). Victus, “Sacrifice” (Portsmouth, U.K.)   Rating: 3

“Orange Goblinish, but the vocals stink.”  

Band info: Ritual Earth|| Hellavator|| Blank|| Udreka|| Victus

6 LIVE REVIEWS: THE SLUDGELORD'S 666 PACK REVIEW (Psycho Las Vegas Special 2018)

Words & Photos: Nikos Mixas

It’s a special edition for the 666 PACK REVIEW this month!  THE SLUDGELORD attended Psycho Las Vegas recently, so this month we’re going to rate 6 bands that played the festival. Between the non-stop shenanigans and Instagram takeover, we found time to actually watch the bands. For future potential victims that submit material to THE SLUDGELORD for review, here’s some advice: This festival is where you want to be someday! If you’re new to this, each and every month we handpick 6 review submissions (this month six bands that played Psycho Las Vegas) and critique them by only using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!  Check out our Las Vegas themed rating scale below: 

1– It would have nicer if their tour bus got lost in the desert on the way to the festival.       

2– One of the Psycho Las Vegas guest DJs was Andrew W.K., he actually stirred up more excitement than the performance this band put on.      

3– It was kinda average, just like staying at The Excalibur Hotel and Casino these days…

4 – You know the feeling that you get free drinks while your gambling?  Yeahhhhh….       

5– This band deserves to have a Las Vegas casino named after them and they should be the house band. 

666– They hit the progressive jackpot (Enter ching! ching! ching! ching! money sounds here…)!  Viva Psycho Las Vegas and THE SLUDGELORD!

Caveat:  Even though the 666 PACK REVIEW is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher.  THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

Goblin - Rating: 1

Horror soundtracks never sound so bad.

Sunn0))) – Rating: 4

No groove, no problem.  Drone on.

Danzig – Rating: 5

Playing “She Rides” earned this rating.

Elder – Rating: 666!

Most underrated band at this fest.

Indian – Rating: 5

This reunion was meant to be.

Batushka - Rating: 666!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Fuck yeah!!!

6 NEW BANDS: THE SLUDGELORD's 666 Pack Review (July 2018)

By: Nikos Mixas

Art by: Joshua M. Wilkinson

It’s the July edition of THE SLUDGELORD’s 666 PACK REVIEW!  Festival season is in full swing, temperatures are at their peak and the submissions to THE SLUDGELORDhave been pretty good so far this summer, will that trend continue into July???   Hopefully I didn’t jinx anything and it’s time to review bands!  If you’re new to this, each and every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!  Check out our festival themed rating scale below: 

1– Festivals are light years away for you… 

2– When the local promoter organizes a “festival”, you might get an invite. 

3– Not too shabby.  Maybe Riff Fest (UK) or Stoner Meadow of Doom (USA) will notice your chops? 

4 – You just leveled up to Maryland Doom Fest (USA) and Doom over Vienna (AUT) status. 

5– You’re definitely on your way to getting an invite from Roadburn.   

666– THE SLUDGELORD thinks that either a Hellfest, Wacken or even a Download Festival could be in your future one day! 

Caveat:  Even though the 666 PACK REVIEW is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher.  THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

1). Left To Wither, “Left To Wither” (Lille, France)    Rating: 3                                                    

French bands like to copy Celeste.   

2). Deltanaut, “Part I”(Sheffield, U.K.)   Rating: 5

Guitarist went to school of Hendrix. 



3). Colossus Morose, “Seclusion”(Hanover, Germany)   Rating: 1

Oh mighty Sludgelord! Take me now! 

4). Omination, “Followers of the Apocalypse” (Tunis, Tunisia)   Rating: 3

Funeral Doom from Tunisia. Who knew? 

   

5). Ildaruni, “Towards Subterranean Realms” (Yerevan, Armenia)   Rating: 2

Soundtrack to eat Lucky Charms to.

 
6). Dead Sisters, “Dead Sisters” (Massachusetts, USA)   Rating: 1

Beating a dead horse.  Or sister.  

Band info: Left to wither|| Deltanaut|| Omination|| Ildaruni|| Dead Sisters

6 NEW BANDS: THE SLUDGELORD's 666 Pack Review (June 2018)

By: Nikos Mixas

Art by: Joshua M. Wilkinson

It’s the June edition of THE SLUDGELORD’s 666 Pack Review!  This month some of you might be going on vacation or getting sloshed while watching the World Cup but the smart ones are digging in deep at the jam pad/rehearsal studio/garage honing your chops.  We can tell because THE SLUDGELORD’sreview submission inbox is constantly full and believe it or not, we really appreciate it.  If you’re new to this, each and every month we handpick 6 review submissions and critique them by only using 6 words, then we rate them on a scale from 1 to 666!  Check out our summer slacker themed rating scale below: 

1– You’re just like Panama in The World Cup.  You’re inexperienced and just happy to be here.       

2– Maybe the band should take a collective vacation to figure things out?     

3– You guys are average, kind of like Russia in The World Cup.  You have potential to be great, but you’re not quite there yet...        

4 – I’d kick back on a beach with an adult beverage in hand and listen to this.      

5– You’re the musical equivalent of team Brazil.  A perennial beast.  Goooooooooooooooaaaaaaallll!!!

666– THE SLUDGELORDawards you The World Cup Trophy for the month of June.  Now go do something vile with it. 

Caveat:  Even though the 666 Pack Review is meant to offer humorous critique, there are no safe spaces here and your gripes will only make you sound like a bellyacher.  THE SLUDGELORD is a picky listener…and doesn’t care what you think of his opinions….

1). Empty Friend, “Saltwater”(London, United Kingdom)    Rating: 2

Did 90’s alternative rock return? Wow…

 
2). Modok, “Evil/Sea Beast” (Joensuu, Finland)   Rating: 4

Modok eats, breaths and shits doom.

 
3). Fatima, “Moaner”(Paris, France)   Rating: 5

If Nirvana played doom/shoegaze, it’s this.

    

4). Magik Black, “Magik Black” (Nizhny Novgorod, Russia)   Rating: 666!

Dumb name but shaddup and listen!

 
5). Flood Peak, “Plagued by Sufferers” (Portland, U.S.A.)   Rating: 5

Reminds me a bit of Celeste.  Oui!

 
6). Ingrina, “Etter Lys”(France)   Rating: 666!

Vive la Ingrina! Vive la France!

Band info: Empty Friend || Modok|| Fatima || Magik Black|| Flood Peak || Ingrina